Blog Layout
Shared attention creates beautiful parent and child interaction
Families are naturally focused on getting their child to talk and follow directions. What parents don’t realize is that there is a developmental curve to gaining and developing various skills in talking, motor planning, thinking and relating to others.
Kids don’t learn everything at once. Kids don’t just start talking and listening. It’s not at the snap of our fingers and children start doing what we want them to do. It is a process and it is individualized to the child.
While I was zooming with a new family, I observed mom trying to get her 2-year-old, pre-verbal son to engage and talk by telling him, “say tickle” and “say cookie” and other simple words. She was also trying to give him simple commands to “come here” and “give me that”. He was noticeably not interested and was making frustrated sounds as mom was trying to physically pull him to interact. This mama was doing nothing wrong. She was only doing what she knew how to do. She needed my guidance.
As an Early Interventionist I get the privilege to teach parents about this process and how to recognize their child’s curve in development and focus on where the child’s needs are at that current moment.
After observing their interaction, I began giving suggestions – as I typically do. I encouraged mom to let go of asking him to do things. Instead, I instructed her to turn off the TV and make funny sound effects with her mouth. My goal in this moment was to teach mom about shared attention and engagement and getting her child interested in her.
As mom made funny sound effects, the child became increasingly interested and inched his way over. Eventually he was sitting on her lap, looking at her, smiling and asking for more by touching her mouth. They sat there for almost 10 minutes before mom started crying. Mom was overwhelmed with joy that her child was engaging with her and looking at her in a loving way. She said he never looks at her like this and has never engaged for this long. She was elated.
It’s moments like this that tell me I am where I’m meant to be. I love helping parents connect with their child and helping them focus on what’s important for them as a family. Families need people who understand, listen and help. Once I create a relationship with the parents, I know I can help the family understand what they can focus on to help their child’s development as well as guide them to other resources in the community that can help their child.